The Tough Stuff

May 25, 2014


Across from my desk, this is the view. 

A poster in a frame, but because we are moving soon, it hasn't been hung up. 
A pair on converse shoes for Zoe's show choir performance next week.
Clean, folded, mismatched towels that have been sitting there for days, not yet put away. 

Right now, I'm at a stand still. 

Last week, was a week for the record books. So many ups and downs, ultimately downs. 
Just a few days after Mother's Day, I discovered, I was again pregnant.
Again, a miracle. An unexpected and most happy miracle. 

And just like last time, the magic was short lived. 
I had another miscarriage.
That makes two in a row now. 

For someone who has been trying 34 months to get pregnant, devastating hardly covers the emotions.
I'm working through the stages of grief. But I'm still a work in progress.

I'm sharing this experience for a few reasons. 
1. It sucks, and it makes me feel better to write about it.
2. I know so many other women experience this, and I want them to know they aren't alone.
3. To remind myself that I survived this once before, and I am strong enough to pull through it again.

My family and friends have definitely shown their love the last several days. Between cards, meals, texts, babysitting, etc....I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude that although my circle is small, it is mighty.

For now, I'm working on the "No Frowning" part of life. Trying to find the silver lining and the lesson to be learned in this mess. 

XOXO,
Holly & Co.

3 comments:

Jen said...

Oh, Holly. . . so, so sorry. Miscarriage is brutal, and even more so considering the circumstances. Hugs.

all that scrapbooking said...

Hell Yes!

Donna Jannuzzi said...

Holly, I am very sorry for your loss. I don't even know you, but I have been thinking of you... I know the pain of losing a child. You will be in my prayers.

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