Walking the Line: My thoughts on Motherhood

May 11, 2014

I am one of the lucky ones. I have had the blessing on conceiving and giving birth to a wonderful child.
While in the worldly sense, having Zoe made me a mother, in the spiritual sense,

I have always been one.

In Genesis 3:20, Eve's name is given to her because she is mother of all living. 
She was a mother before ever having given birth. She had a divine nature, and so do I. 


The past three years, I've struggled on Mother's day. Not because I don't have a child, but because I thought my main role in life was going to be mothering a house full of children. I expected my days full of laundry, nap times, car pools, and all the other tasks that go into raising a large family. My expectations for myself and my family have been forced to shift, because although the things I had planned, were great - they are not, and most likely will not ever by my reality. 

Only recently have I realized that my infertility has really changed me for the better. It has allowed me to walk the line between the mothers of several children, and those who long so desperately to be a mother. It has given me greater appreciation for my family, both individual and extended. It has opened my eyes to the work and love outside of our home, that goes into raising our child. It has fostered special friendships and connections with other women and children. It has allowed me to be filled with empathy and joy, such as I have never known. 

I am part of a small online infertility support group. There are only a few of us. I have never met these women in person. But they get me. Most of them are dealing with more difficult things than I am, and most of them don't have any children. I feel selfish being there most of the time, because I already have a child. But they let me in anyway. They have comforted me and built me up, and for these women, I will be forever grateful. Through them, I have really learned what it is to bear someone else's burden.

.....And isn't that what mother's do? They teach, love, comfort. 

Motherhood doesn't begin at the birth of a child, 
it is part of who you are and what you do.

I really think Mother is a word to sum up all the things that womanhood encompasses. All the divine qualities women possess and share with those around them. My goal with this post today is to help all the women I know, understand that child or not, you have a divine role. One that reaches beyond the sphere of influence that you can see. 

I love the women in my life, who have made me a better person. I am grateful for the women in Zoe's sphere of influence, who have helped shape her into the girl she is and woman she will be. 

XOXO,
Holly & Co. 

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